I got chris browned last night
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
