who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
