is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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