One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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