I smell stomach acid.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
