My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My ass is underappreciated
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
