i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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