How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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