I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
