My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
