Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
