she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize