I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
