When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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