Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
