I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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