I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
