Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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