If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize