Whod you bang
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
