i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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