The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
