PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
