Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
