you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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