butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
