its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
