I want to stick my p in your. b.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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