is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
