That's intense
I met the friendliest cop last night
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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