i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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