i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
