I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i think my cat just said my name.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
