I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need moral support for this bender
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
