Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
