He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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