Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
