How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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