Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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