I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
