i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
