i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
