So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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