ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
