A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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