gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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