so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
