it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
