I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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