So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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