Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
