I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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