i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
