Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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