Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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