Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Who died my cat blue again?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
