I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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