thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
