Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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