To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize