The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
