Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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