lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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