Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
