i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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