If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You have to summon your inner elephant
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
