You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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