Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
