You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
