oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
