On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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