we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
