OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Randomize
